THE SECRET POWERS OF THANKsŪ AUTHENTICITY
This e-newsletter is the next in our series on “The secrets embedded within the THANKs® program”. Today’s focus will be on the topic of AUTHENTICITY and offer some ideas to think about and practice.
 
 
“I’m just being myself”
“I’m doing my own thing”
“This is just who I am”
 
We have all heard these statements used countless times throughout our lives. Most of us have personally used them, as well as other similar phrases. Authenticity is an ever changing non-static movement that dwells deep within all of us. It is a discovery process that compels us to be increasingly honest with ourselves and others.
 
We have certificates of authenticity for many products proving their value and purity. Whether it’s the rare coin, authentic blue jeans or purses we buy, we are paying handsomely for their stamp of genuineness.
 
Back in the days of prohibition the phrase “The Real McCoy” was coined, when pure, distilled, authentic liquor was smuggled off of the boats for human consumption. As humans, how do we assess when and if we are “The Real McCoy”, the authentic self? How do we answer the most pertinent question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. Who am I?
 
Are we our career, a spouse, a father, a mother or parent? Do we define who we are by our dress size or weight? Do we define ourselves by how much money we have or our religious/spiritual beliefs? We play many roles in our lives which can be a manifestation of our authenticity. Our authentic selves however, are inherent to our existence. We were born with authenticity, will live with it and we will die with it. Our true work is to look beyond these roles we play to discover more and more of our own true nature, our authentic self. The essence of authenticity is where the most wonderful you dwells. It is the essence of love and joy. It is the giver and the receiver within us, and the sub-stratum of our existence. 
 
So how do we discover our authentic self? It’s a process, like peeling away the leaves of an artichoke, 1 leaf at a time. Each leaf has a little meat from the heart, and as we eventually make our way to the core, we find the authentic essence of the artichoke. 
Since we all have, without exception, character flaws, shortcomings and a dark side to our human existence, the discovering of our authentic self is a journey which involves letting go of layer upon layer of who we aren’t. 
This requires a level of rigorous honesty and self reflection, in order to uncover and discover our authentic selves. The wonderful rewards that we experience are the discovery of so many assets, strengths and talents that we never knew we possessed. And to equal measure, seeing beyond the character flaws and shortcomings of others, allows us to see their authenticity.
 
I recently had a conversation with a man I know regarding his marriage. He described the early years when he and his wife were dating, as quite wonderful. Now that they are well into their married years, he shared how his wife tells him that he’s not the same man that she married. He went on to say how his wife had experienced him as someone who, in those early years, was just himself; genuine, loving and caring, As he continued to describe his experience, he stopped making eye contact with me and began rubbing his hands together nervously. He disclosed that in his efforts to be a good husband, he tried taking on roles similar to his father, living by rules that created adverse consequences in his marriage. 
Some of these roles were behavioral and some were unspoken rules he grew up with. He was aware of a couple of these rules that he had come to live by that he witnessed from his father. They were “men don’t share their feelings” and “don’t talk or communicate”. This man was learning about who he wasn’t based on rules and influences from his past. He was beginning to recognize more of who he could authentically be. He was taking an honest look at himself. 
 
There is great responsibility and some risk that comes with the discovery process of our own authenticity. If you ask yourself, “Am I willing to be honest with myself in order to explore more of who I am”? “Am I willing to find deeper truths within, and let them shine brightly for the world to see”? We have to be willing to let go of fear, of false beliefs, of insecurity and self doubt. We are compelled to look in the dark nooks and crannies within ourselves, and let go of the skeletons in the closet. In short, we need to be rigorously honest with ourselves so that we become increasingly congruent with who we are on the inside and let it manifest on the outside.
 
We can, at any time, decide we want to access more of our authenticity, as long as we are willing to look deep within ourselves and recognize the veils, the barriers and the barricades that stand between who we think we are, and our own authentic selves. And how do we know when we’ve made progress? We will experience an increased level of quiet joy and gratitude, as well as a quieter mind and loving heart. We will become increasingly honest with others. 
We will have less fear of people and we will instinctively be able to handle situations that used to elude us. If we are willing to work on honest self appraisal, and greater acceptance of ourselves, we are consciously working on the path of authentic discovery.  This ever changing, constantly evolving experience of authenticity leaves us with new found freedom.
 
Below are a few ideas to practice that can give you insight into your authentic self.
 
¨      Make a list of secrets you have held onto that make you feel guilty or ashamed. Share them with someone you trust.
¨      Think about someone you have hurt with your words or actions. Go to them and make a sincere apology and work on changing that behavior.
¨      Think about how you are with making good on your commitments and level of trustworthiness to others. Do you show up on time? Do you meet deadlines? Do you consider others when making decisions that will affect them? If you are willing to take an honest look at yourself when answering these questions, you’ll have plenty of material to deepen your own level of authenticity. Don’t avoid asking yourself other questions as well, that might even be more relevant then the ones asked here.
¨      Are you critical and judgmental of yourself and others? If so, pick one way that you become critical and/or judgmental and work on eliminating it.
 
Perhaps you have notice that the past 3 e-newsletters on Trustworthiness, Honesty and Authenticity are all very intertwined. You will find that when you practice any one of these principles you will be working with the other 2 simultaneously. Here is the greatest secret of all. Take any principle of truth, and it will help you become more of the authentic person you already are by design.
 
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